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      故事 文章 日记 语文 作文 读后感 手抄报 演讲稿 在线投稿
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      剌穿那层心上的坚壳

      小故事网 时间:2016-04-06 纳兰泽芸

        妈妈收到汇款单后看到单子上还有别的字儿,就叫人念给她听了,听完妈妈就哭了。这单子她就一直收着,不舍得取掉……

        1

        珊影是我大学同学。

        大一时,我是计算机系,珊影是美术系。她不仅画画得好,人也长得好,听说父亲还是一位颇有名气的画家。并且,珊影还写得一手好文章,?,她文辞清丽的文章频频发表。这样的女孩子,受到关注就像水落荷叶汇成珠一样自然。她很快成了男生们每晚“卧谈会”的主题。

        我也默默喜欢上了珊影。然而,众星拱月的珊影是不可能注意到我的。虽然我的计算机专业知识在同系算是佼佼者,但围绕在她周围的星辰都那么耀目。

        我呢,家在农村,父亲在我记事时就生病去世,母亲一人将我们姐弟俩带大。如今姐姐已经嫁到外县,难得回娘家一趟。家里只剩母亲守着几亩田地度日。母亲是个半字不识的农村妇女,虽然只有五十来岁,但已腰佝背驼,艰难时世是一只无情的大手,将母亲脸上仅存的一点光华过早地夺走。

        可是,我是那么的喜欢珊影。每一次?隹,我都急急地在里面寻找珊影的文章,一遍遍地读,然后呆呆地盯着“李珊影”三个字,心里说:珊影,你是我的。

        我终于想出一个让珊影很快注意到我的方法。

        剌穿那层心上的坚壳我的文学底子其实不错的。读中学时,我的作文也常常被老师当成范文在班上朗诵。只是高中时被繁重的课业一压,就完全放弃了。

        我开始“潜伏”,玩命地读书,玩命地练习写作。我过了整整半年教室、食堂、图书馆、宿舍四点一线的生活。厚积薄发的结果是我的文章开始在?掀灯捣⒈,“张庭轩”三个字也像初升的太阳一样照亮了人们的眼睛。

        常常,我与珊影在?献“邻居”。

        一个初冬的傍晚,珊影在我面前站。赫磐バ,能请我喝杯咖啡吗?

        2

        那两杯咖啡,几乎花掉了我半个月的生活费。

        珊影说:看得出来,你的古典底蕴相当深厚,没有从小的积累是不可能的。你家一定是个书香之家吧,我喜欢有古典蕴味的男人。

        我局促地搅着杯里的咖啡,没有说是,也没有说不是。

        我的沉默在珊影看来就是默认,而且她更认定这是我内敛不张扬的表现。

        没过多久,我在珊影那里,就成了省城一位“张教授”的儿子。

        我在众多又妒又羡的目光下,与珊影出双入对。珊影总是毫不避忌地挽紧我的胳膊,而我,却总有点不大自然。我感觉自己内心的那点隐忧,像一块被水洇了的纸,那湿迹越来越大,越来越大。

        既然是“教授”的儿子,我再也不能穿得太寒酸了,与珊影出去,不能说一杯咖啡都请不起吧。我悄悄想办法联系了一家IT公司,揽了些兼职的活儿,还想着各种办法挣外快。一直做得偷偷摸摸的,生怕珊影知道。

        有一天她终究知道了,非但没有生气,反而挂在我的脖子上狠狠地亲了我一口:“庭轩,知道吗,我以前还在想,你一个大学教授的儿子怎么一件名牌也没穿过,今天才知道原来你上大学都不靠家里,就喜欢你这样不靠爹娘老子的男子汉性格。”

        3

        我22岁生日快到了。对于生日,我向来不太重视,小时候过生日妈妈也就是煮一个鸡蛋,有时候还没有,鸡蛋都换了盐。习惯了这样的度过方式,长大后就重视不起来。

        珊影却很重视,早早地说要到酒店里给我订一桌生日宴,我说不用,要不就在学校食堂的小餐厅里点几个菜意思一下就行了。珊影知道我的性格,也就没坚持。

        给妈打电话时,妈就提醒我:轩轩,你生日快到了,记着买点好的吃吃。

        在妈心里,生日就意味着吃点好的。

        生日那天,珊影还买了一个大蛋糕,一桌子十来个人叫着笑着让我吹蜡烛,然后命令我闭上眼睛许个愿。

        我闭着眼睛,十指交叉在胸前:愿我最爱的珊影成为我的妻子,一世陪伴我。

        当我睁开眼,在如雷的欢呼声中,我如雷轰顶!

        ——是妈妈,是我的妈妈站在我的面前。

        赶了远路,妈妈蓬乱着白发,满是皱纹的脸上浮着一层油灰,佝着腰,挎着一个布包袱。

        我不同寻常的表情让所有人吃惊了,周围一下安静下来,我听到有空气在耳边像蛇在咝咝游走。

        妈妈也被我的表情给吓住了,但又不知道错在哪儿。她惶恐地用手搓弄着包袱:轩轩,妈问了好几个人才晓得你在这儿,今天你生日,妈妈给你煮了鸡蛋,正好隔壁二毛家生了个小子,给了几个红喜蛋,妈寻思着你生日吃红喜蛋能走红运,就起个大早……

        妈嗫嚅着,手里的包袱揪得更紧了:上回你跟妈说交了女朋友,妈想来看一眼女娃……

        我不敢看珊影的脸,但分明感受到她的目光,刀子一样在剜着我的脸。

        我突然暴怒地一把夺过母亲的包袱,狠劲砸向地上。

        我听见了鸡蛋碎裂的声音。

        却没有听见,母亲心碎裂的声音。

        我与珊影之间。结束了。

        珊影后来找过我,我一次次地躲避她。

        与其说我无法面对珊影,不如说无法面对那个在珊影心里,尊严已经碎裂得体无完肤的男人。所以,除了逃避,我别无选择。

        很快,毕业了。

        毕业告别宴我没有参加。我知道,我会无法面对珊影的泪水。

        而我,那晚,在一个小酒馆里,喝得烂醉如泥。

        我拒绝了兼职的那家IT公司的邀请,独自逃到了繁华、巨大而匆忙的上海。我用日复一日的高强度工作,来麻醉我想念珊影的心。

        后来,我听到珊影嫁给了明焕的消息。

        4

        自从22岁的生日宴上见妈一面之后,我再也没有冋去过,也没有给她打过电话。虽然我心里淸楚,这不能怪妈妈,然而,不知为什么,我不想面对她。

        我每隔几个月都会给妈妈汇一笔钱,但汇款单的“附言”一栏中我从未写过一个字。一来妈妈不识字,写了她也不认识。二来我也懒得写。

        那次汇款是妈妈生日临近了,我特意多汇了两百元,在把汇款单交给工作人员的一刹那,我鬼使神差地在附言一栏留了几个字:妈妈生日快乐。

        两个月后,我再去邮局汇款,那位常给我汇款的工作人员说,你上次的汇款退冋来了。

        为什么?

        逾期无人取款。

        正纳闷,姐姐打来电话,说妈妈病得不轻,要我无论如何回去一趟。

        妈妈躺在低矮的老房子里,看到我,灰败的眼神里立刻有了一丝神采?吹铰杪璋追⑵〉耐仿,我的心已经汪洋一片。

        然而,这汪洋终究没能冲破那层坚硬的外壳。我用冷冷的目光看向她,冷冷地问:上次汇款怎么退回去了?为什么不去取出来?

        妈妈用怯怯的眼神看着我,想说什么却没说。

        我又说:我工作忙得很,跑一次邮局也要抽时间的,你要不想取我以后就不寄了。

        说完,就冷着脸走开了。

        晚上临睡前,姐姐进来了,姐姐说,轩轩,那笔八百块的退款你收到了吧。妈妈收到汇款单后看到单子上还有别的字儿,就叫人念给她听了,听完妈妈就哭了。这单子她就一直收着,不舍得取掉……

        母亲已经睡着了,我轻轻从她枕头底下,摸出那张汇款单。

        汇款单上“妈妈生日快乐”几个字已经变得有点模糊了。

        姐姐说,她常常抚摸那几个字。

        那一刻,我埋藏在心里的汪洋,恣肆着冲进眼眶。

        妈妈的根根白发,是支支利箭,刺穿包裹在我心上的坚硬外壳。当冰冷的外壳哗啦啦坠地时,妈妈醒了。

        我抱住妈妈痩弱的身子,用我柔软的心温热她。

      分页:1 2 3 下一页
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