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      永远的田螺阿姨

      小故事网 时间:2016-04-26 千夜

        突如其来的田螺阿姨

        我开了门。她从厨房出来,脸上挂着拘谨的笑,由于紧张,两只手在围裙上不断揉搓着。她是一个五十多岁的老太太,体形细瘦,面色苍白,有一只挺直的鼻。

        两个月前,我和相恋五年的男友分手。半个月前,我在电话里对母亲说,不需要你来,我可以照顾自己。三天前,母亲在电话里对我说,不放心你,我给你请了个保姆。

        我知道,她请的人要么是远房亲戚,要么是老姐妹?墒,对面的老太太操一口吴侬软语,我惊呆了,她是南京人。身在太原的母亲竟然能给我找一个南京的保姆。而且,托人把我家的钥匙给了她。我还没回家,保姆已经上岗了。母亲在电话里说,放一百个心,琴姨人很好。她是母亲一个老朋友,因为家里经济问题,母亲先预支了她半年工资。

        周末。我带琴姨逛菜场。其实,我平时很少来菜场。五年里,都是男友做饭,我连煤气怎么开都不知道。琴姨看我的眼神总带点淡淡的温情,似乎相识很久。

        晚上五点,琴姨会打我的电话。她问,什么时候到家,末了加上一句,路上注意安全。晚餐四菜一汤,荤素搭配得甚好。清炒芋艿不加葱花,凉拌牛肉不要香菜,清炒土豆丝要放醋。她果真功课做得很足,对我的饮食摸得门儿清。

        一个星期。她将我凌乱的家变成一个清爽的小两室。米白的沙发放了几个玫红的抱枕,墙角玻璃瓶里干掉的富贵竹换了大束百合。厚重的灰色窗帘换成了天蓝的亚麻。肖然走后,我经常躺在灰暗的房间,整个人好像陷入一个黑洞。而此时,我睁开眼睛,看到阳光透过窗帘映出一抹幽蓝,宛如徜徉在海洋里,整个人都是轻盈的。

        永远的田螺阿姨这肯定是母亲的主意。她知道,我是一个多么自尊的人;槔袂跋,准新郎落跑,而我还孤单地生活在我们的婚房里。这样的羞愧境遇下,我未必愿意见母亲。所以,她给我送来一个田螺阿姨。

        我的疏离,她的贴近

        我和琴姨交谈多数在餐桌。

        她的丈夫很早病逝,女儿嫁在本地,儿子大学毕业刚参加工作。这些年,她为了儿子读书,一直在城市打工。我说,我的母亲也一样。我幼年学钢琴,费用昂贵。她白天上班,晚上在一家医院做陪护。大学毕业,我要在这个城市安家,她卖了市里的房子搬到了乡下。琴姨听了很动容。

        琴姨问,你和肖然为什么分手?

        她的问题很多人问过,包括我的母亲。其实,答案就是婚礼前三个月,他遇见真爱了。琴姨还想说些什么,我借口去书房了。我觉得没必要和一个保姆说这么多。人与人过于亲近就会变得[罗] [嗦]。我不想她和我的母亲一样。

        我蓄意疏离琴姨。吃完早点,我就上班。吃完晚饭,我就进了卧室。她一定能感觉到我的疏离。那些欲言又止的表情我见过很多次。

        沉沦是一个黑洞。如果你想深入其中,它一定会让你跌落。我开始对任何事情没了兴趣。周末,睡得昏天黑地。九点,她敲门。十点,她敲门。十二点,她还敲门。我终于忍不住愤怒。我在电话里对母亲吼,我要辞掉保姆?墒,打开门,看到琴姨受伤的眼神,还有餐桌上被海碗扣着的饭菜,我开不了口。她怎么知道,我只是想虐待一下自己,身体的伤害可以分担我精神的痛苦。

        我去泡吧。

        凌晨,电话一直在响,我不接。眼泪决堤般,一杯红酒灌下喉咙。后来,我记得,我被人扶进了一辆车。第二天早上,我接到一个男人的电话。他问,还好吗?原来他看不过我一个女孩在酒吧烂醉,他回拨了那个未接来电,整整二十八个。

        他说,以后别这样了,你妈都吓哭了。

        洗手间里。琴姨正在清洗我换下来的衣服,我说,可以机洗的。她抬头,没事,搓搓就好。我看到她一双红肿的眼睛,布满了血丝。我突然觉得自己多么自私。她是真的关心我,我为什么要拒人千里之外呢?我开始和琴姨重新熟络。

        单位加班。我说,不回去吃晚饭了,叫个外卖凑合下。一个小时后,同事说,许丽,你妈在楼下和保安吵架了。我飞速下楼。琴姨提了个不锈钢的保温壶?吹轿,她对保安说,我没骗人,我是真的给孩子送饭。

        那是一壶红参鸡汤。

        一连半月。琴姨每天都送饭菜来。每次我吃到嘴里还是热的。我对她说,其实不必这么麻烦。她笑笑,闲着没事情,有直达车呀。同事都说,许丽,你妈太宠你了。我说,她不是我妈,我家保姆而已,大家都惊讶了。

        在她的爱里学会治愈自己

        肖然回来收拾行李。

        他的新女友坐在客厅的沙发上。我浑身的血液都在沸腾,两只拳头捏得紧紧,我不知道自己何时会爆发。琴姨一把将我拉进书房,郑重其事地说,一段感情既然结束了,就让大家都活得像个人样吧。

        我和琴姨下楼,对肖然说,走时把门带上。我注意到肖然眼晴里的惊异,他一定以为我会哭会闹,可是,我让他失望了。我觉得,我做得很棒,甚至有点崇拜自己?墒,我还是哭了。琴姨拍拍我的背,哭吧,哭出来就好。

        那个晚上,琴姨陪我走了很长一段路。我在前面,她在后面。我说,你先回,我想一个人静一下。她应了。走了很久,转头,我看到有个熟悉的影子隐匿在一片昏暗里。

        我开始变得忙碌。路过一家健身所,琴姨硬让我去看看。一个在玩哑铃的健身男突然对我微笑。那晚,我被琴姨顺利过渡给了健身房。一周三次的有氧运动。

        琴姨教我做猪冻肘子,我还像模像样地补了一件开线的上衣。阳台上种的芍药冒出了芽,一杯藤萝被我养得活色生香。健身男经常约我吃饭,可是我都没空。

        我报了个德语班。经常吃完饭,我骑着单车匆匆赶往培训中心。我的德语老师是个蓝眼睛的德国帅哥。他说,lily,你总是充满活力的样子。

        一晃半年过去。一日中午,我和琴姨两个人吃饭。中途琴姨去了很久洗手间。再出来,她的脸色极差。我带她去了医院,她却拒绝检查。她越来越虚弱,只是面对我,她永远温暖地微笑着。

        两个月后,她说,我要回南京了,女儿家有点事情。她走的前几天,正值金秋十月,她却把我的冬被全部拆洗了一遍,家里的角落也打扫得干干净净。她在商场给我挑了一套漂亮的餐具,她说这瓷盘上的桃花很漂亮,盛上菜也赏心悦目。我送她到火车站。候车室人群涌动。她抚摩了下我的脸,眼睛里尽是不舍。她说,孩子,你终于让人放心了。临走,她塞给我一个丝绒盒子。

        这是我们的最后一面。

        一切都是最好的结局

        四个月后。母亲打来电话,琴姨去世了。这个消息有点突然。母亲还想说什么,被我打断了。我说,妈妈,你要保重身体,你是我永远的妈妈。那头,母亲沉默了。其实,我知道母亲要告诉我什么。

        琴姨是我的亲生母亲。

        她去公司给我送饭。同事说,许丽,你家保姆和你真像。那天,我站在洗手间的镜前,我看到自己细长的眉眼,高挺的鼻,这分明是琴姨年轻的样子,我的眼泪疯涌。十七岁,我曾在家里的抽屉发现了一张收养说明。原来,我是一个弃婴。这些年,我从不提及,因为这些都不重要。

        那个丝绒盒子呈放了一只玉镯子,青玉色,晶莹透亮。它曾经戴在琴姨手腕上。始终,我没有唤过琴姨一声妈妈。因为,我知道,我们之间需要的不是这一声称呼。每一个母亲来到曾经被放弃的孩子身边,不是为相认,而是为补偿,心安。

        所以,在那段糟糕的感情里,我才终于保持了优雅。我不想让她为我担心。我主动学习下厨是想让她放心,以后即使一个人,我也会照顾自己。我去办了健身卡,我要让她觉得,我是一个热爱生活的人。

        幸好,我的努力让她露出了久违的笑。而这些最初的蓄意之为,也渐渐改变了我。我真的从那个黑洞里爬了出来?墒俏一故乔匪簧——妈妈。

        我想起,她曾对我说,其实我也有个女儿,只是现在不在了。我望着她的眼睛说,没事,以后你就当我是你的女儿吧。当时,她哭了,眼泪打在手背上。

        我想,这个结局很好,很好!

      分页:1 2
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